Dealing with confusing parenting moments

20 Dec , 2014  

Mothering is full of confusing minefield type of situations that can be very difficult to deal with. Many times we  become fearful of our children’s nature and their future. Children learn undesirable things due to bad association, or they stop listening to us or sometimes they get into trouble with their teachers and friends. Sometimes their behavior is so shocking that we start doubting our own standing as a sincere mother. Sometimes we are confused  in our own decision making in various situations- what would best help my child in their Krishna consciousness, should my child spend time learning music or is investing more time in math and science more important.

As if Kali Yuga was not confusing enough, Krsna Centered motherhood can be very confusing and overwhelming. In the tenth canto ,8th chapter of Srimad Bhagavatam we find mother Yashoda in a similar confusing situation. While Krsna engaged in various naughty activities as a child, the most wonderful of these occurred when Kṛṣṇa’s playmates complained mother Yaśodā that Kṛṣṇa was eating earth.

Upon hearing this from Kṛṣṇa’s playmates, mother Yaśodā, who was always full of anxiety over Kṛṣṇa’s welfare, picked Kṛṣṇa up with her hands to look into His mouth.

When Kṛṣṇa opened His mouth wide by the order of mother Yaśodā, she saw within His mouth the entire universe , the modes of material nature, the elements, reactions of karma, all types of living entities and various other aspects of the cosmic manifestation along with herself and Vṛndāvana-dhāma. On seeing this she became doubtful and fearful of her son’s nature. She became overwhelmed with emotions and then spoke thus:

SB 10.8.41– Therefore let me surrender unto the Supreme Personality of Godhead and offer my obeisances unto Him, who is beyond the conception of human speculation, the mind, activities, words and arguments, who is the original cause of this cosmic manifestation, by whom the entire cosmos is maintained, and by whom we can conceive of its existence. Let me simply offer my obeisances, for He is beyond my contemplation, speculation and meditation. He is beyond all of my material activities.

SB 10.8.42 – It is by the influence of the Supreme Lord’s māyā that I am wrongly thinking that Nanda Mahārāja is my husband, that Kṛṣṇa is my son, and that because I am the queen of Nanda Mahārāja, all the wealth of cows and calves are my possessions and all the cowherd men and their wives are my subjects. Actually, I also am eternally subordinate to the Supreme Lord. He is my ultimate shelter.,

There can be nothing more overwhelming than seeing the entire cosmic manifestation the mouth of your child. To deal with this situation Yashoda Mayi drew her strength from her faith in the supreme Lord to deal with this situation . She does not depend upon the externals. In a similar way  when we are faced with difficult situations in our parenting ,instead of depending upon the various layers of false identities we have – related to our jobs, our homes, social standing, familiar relationships, wealth, power prestige- we must also act from the platform of the soul- from the place of our relationship with Krsna.

Srila Prabhupada explains in the purports to these verses that when we are beset with such problems for which we can find no reason. The best remedy is to surrender to the Lord and offer our obeisances to Him. By willingly allow Him to take control of our lives we will be able to secure ourselves,  because the Lord is sarva loka maheshwaram and suhrdam sarva bhutanam – He is the controller of all creation and He is the well wisher of all living entities.

Surrender does not mean we remain passive . Surrender is active- While we pause and not react to the situation -we must actively pray for the protection and well being of our child. We seek shelter of the Lord by finding shelter in His Holy Names and His instructions. We also seek out guidance from experienced and advanced devotees who can help us with practical steps to deal with those difficult situations.

By