- Namita Purohit
- Life Stages
Cyavana Muni was not an attractive mate. His skin hung loosely on his bones, veins showed all over his body, he was diseased, and he was so much an invalid that he couldn’t walk without assistance. Beyond that, he had a difficult, irritable, and domineering personality. What a match! Most of us would at once predict failure for this relationship. An ordinary woman would have been furious, depressed, resentful, and rebellious. With spouses seeming far more compatible, so many of our contemporary marriages have dissolved. But Sukanyä, like most women of her time, was far from ordinary by today’s standards. It was her superlative qualities that created a glorious marriage.
Although her feminine attributes are rarely found today, her example can give us helpful insights for modern marriages. First and foremost, she accepted her situation. Not only did she steer clear of entertaining negative emotions and reactions, but she was satisfied. She belonged to a glorious culture based on dharma, on following God-given laws and duties, and she was true to those laws and duties. Therefore she had an inner commitment and happiness that were unshakeable. Her happiness came from having understood her relationship with Kåñëa, with herself, and with others. She was chaste, kind, honest, unselfish, responsible, and high in moral standards. Through sincerity and training, she freed herself from pride, envy, anger, false ego, low self-esteem, and other shortcomings. Sukanyä’s priority was to somehow make her family life God conscious and successful. Thus she could be happy in any situation ordained by the Lord.
Because of her wisdom and high principles, Sukanyä felt no need to try to change her husband. She accepted him for who he was and looked to his good side, allowing him to assert his masculinity and directorship without reproach. Their relationship was on Cyavana’s terms, yet by trusting and respecting him, humbly and patiently, she made the marriage succeed. And eventually all of her heart’s desires were fulfilled.
Excerpt from Back To Godhead Magazine article: Krishna Conscious Family Life by Mulaprakriti Dasi and Vishakha Dasi